Okay, going to be real here, I'm a geek (this surprises no one familiar with this blog).
The problem is that I kind of hate myself for being a geek, even though I totally love being one. I like collecting toys and watching anime and cartoons and tokusatsu and having hour-long conversations about comic book characters, those kinds of things are really very fun for me. Of course, these things aren't the only things I like, I also enjoy watching crime dramas, documentaries, and travel and food shows, but my favorite things are the geeky things.
It's a very confusing and conflicting thing. I'm totally paranoid about being looked down on because of my tastes and that makes me very sad. This is definitely a hang up that feeds into my other weaknesses and is probably the heart of my insecurities. I just kind of feel like only a very few people can understand my viewpoint and everyone else just things I'm weird. Which is true in some sense, but really everyone is weird in a way (don't lie to yourself and say you're not).
I've been working through this lately, of course. One thing that's been helping is talking to my friends about how I could cope with this and also listening to my friend's podcast. These guys seem completely comfortable living in their own skin, and I really want to have that quality of life too.
Again, it seems like this blog is starting to help me open some new horizons so I really hope by the end of this experiment I can look back at this post and find myself in a new place- but still a geeky place.
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